Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
