Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My bed is full of blood and feathers
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
