found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
