So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
