You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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