So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
