She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
