i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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