I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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