I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
