Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
