All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
