"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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