im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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