he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
