high people should be assigned attendants
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
