the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
home. puking in laundry basket.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
