tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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