"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
