One girl and one boy is just not enough.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
