i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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