It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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