A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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