I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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