he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
