if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
