i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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