He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
