this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
