on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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