I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
