I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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