So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
