well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
