I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Randomize