Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
