if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize