And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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