Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
