did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you never un-have a 4some
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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