I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
