I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
