Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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