Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
