Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
