he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
