I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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