i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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