guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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