never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
