Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
