Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
