Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
