Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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