Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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