thus making me awesome and them whores
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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