You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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