so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
