all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
