There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
